I’ve been a love seeker my whole life, jumping from one story to another, thinking that this should be the one. But what I never understood was that you can’t find what you don’t have. You can’t go against your own beliefs, that is what life will give you because you don’t really know anything else. And definitely I didn’t know love as I wasn’t giving it to myself.
There is no chance that you will get anything different from what you deeply believe is true. Why? Because you wouldn’t choose anything else other than what you’re familiar with, and a great majority of us have a big misconception about love.
First of all, I used to believe that love was something that was going to make me happy, which is not far from the truth, but the problem is that I didn’t have it. As if love was something outside of myself, something I must find specifically in another human being or situation. The problem was that I wasn’t recognizing that I was attaching love to a person or story, objectifying my love and happiness.
I’ll be happy when I have it.
But wait, how come was I going to find real love if I’ve “never” experienced it before? How in the world am I going to be happy only when I find a certain person? It’s madness.
Another problem is that not having clear the concept of love also makes you repeat the same patterns and choices. So that’s when you keep on choosing the same partners over and over, those who, by the way, are doing the same with you, because you’re also showing them that there’s something wrong here.
When we attach love to a person, we’re also attaching it to certain behaviors and expectations. So, we expect this person to behave in a certain way to fulfill our love ideals. And that’s when we fall in the trap of fake love, the ego trap, and we perpetuate our suffering changing from one partner to another believing that there’s something wrong with the other but unable to see that what’s wrong here it’s me.
Love it’s not out there waiting for you under the mistletoe.
Love it’s right here right now.
It’s enjoying a cup of coffee, taking your dog for a walk, having a deep conversation with a friend, it’s even as simple as seizing your morning routine, and most important of all, love is enjoying your own company. Because if you don’t have fun with yourself, who’s gonna have fun with you?
And yes, love is having fun too, but not exclusively.
When you fall in love with being with yourself it’s when others might say, oh I like this person! And of course that doesn’t mean happily ever after, we first need to deeply clean those mistaken love concepts before we can have a fulfilling relationship but I’ll go deeper into that in another post.
Today, focus on what you love to do, on what you like about yourself, give room to that, open spaces to be with you, go for a walk in nature, read a book, do some yoga, open yourself to new things like going to a restaurant with yourself or maybe traveling alone, why not? Stop expecting others to be a certain way in order for you to be happy.
And most of all, stop looking for love.
Love is in you.
Learn to see yourself through the lens of love, when you do that you will find the most beautiful thing in the world…
Photo: Verona, Italia